If the self invite of Artful Parenting is reframing “self-talk” to an internal dialogue that involves talking to oneself with kindness, the second invitation is this one: caring for one’s body as if it were someone the individual loves.
This is a great concept to think about. But amid the hustle and bustle of life—the grocery store, work emails, partner conversations that begin with “we need to talk”—it’s easy to forget that your body isn’t merely a logistical tool to navigate life.
So how about rephrasing daily self-maintenance – breathing, moving, and resting – not as responsibilities, but as acts of deep commitment? More so, why do these acts not become our way of artfully parenting ourselves in real time?
What is true, and will remain true, is that your nervous system is listening. And your kids are listening too.
Reparenting through Rituals
While thinking of self-care routines that qualify as parenting, remind yourself of the emotional and guidance aspects of providing care. A constituent that is just as important is caring for physical aspects. For children and adults alike, respite and restoration comes from routine which refers to the signals one’s body receives from the action of the civilization. Nourishment, respite, and security are all vital.
We create those cues for ourselves as adults. We get to decide if we want to approach our days as drill sergeants or the parent that lovingly reassures them, “Let’s take a breath. You’re okay. Together, we’ll move through this.”
Artful self-parenting with this in mind becomes:
Breathing like it matters
Not merely existing, but breathing. In other words: tension-releasing, lung-expanding, full-bodied breaths. Inhale and one is uttering, “You deserve to be here.” Exhale, “You are safe.” Something as simple as three deep breaths prior to acting, reacting, or scrolling has the power to transform the entire nervous system landscape.
Move in a caring way
This doesn’t imply a 45 minute workout(most people don’t like that). Rather, it means that one scans their body for signs of movement, and responds. Getting up from a sitting position and stretching your arms above your head. Walking to enjoy the sensations beneath the feet. Kitchen dancing when one is all alone. Saying “I see you. I’m with you.”
Sleep like someone who’s counting on you
These people include not just your kids, but you as well. Sleep should not be viewed as a luxury, but rather emotional first aid. A way to reset, restore and re-regulate. Setting a time to sleep, having no screens in bed, winding down before sleeping are some loving undertakings. Acts of love speaking, “You are allowed to stop. A rest is required.”
Stillness practice as a leader
Stillness is leadership. Meditating, sitting in silence, staring out the window uninterrupted for five minutes counts. What has been considered productive is suspended. Stillness is what one does when it has been decided actually reacting to everything is not the sole option. When this is modeled, children learn through the parent, and not from being told how to pause, but to deliberately choose.
Caring for the Self
As a caregiver, observing the body’s signs of hunger, fatigue, irritation, and even the sense of dread an upcoming event brings is crucial. You are not being dramatic. You’re simply tuning into your body. Listening is the easiest mode of self-respect. Disregarding signs and signals is an open invitation to burnout.
Emotional Maintenance, not Martyrdom | Maintenance is Self-Care
Maintenance culture is deemed selfish because self-care goes against what many of us intuitively landed on. It is a mark of maturity.
When children observe caretakers honoring their boundaries and needs, it shifts their perception of adulthood, replacing the perception of depletion with a balanced interplay of giving and receiving. Self-care does not require lectures about “taking care of themselves someday.” Taught through lived experience, children learn the immediate importance of self-care; they witness what their guardians preach.
That could translate as:
“I need a few minutes to breathe so I can help.”
“I’m tired and going to bed early tonight.”
“My body feels tight so I’m going to stretch for a bit.”
“I’m overwhelmed and am going to sit quietly for five minutes to reset.”
These phrases or “declarations” weave into the emotional world your children are part of, and it is something that doesn’t get taught in school – responding to internal worlds with agency- in this case, kindness.
Grace Over Grind
Wellness does not come with a gold star. There is no one trying to ‘win’ the self-care game. It is not about perfection, but rather engagement.
Engagement in one’s well-being, in the moment, and in the continuous response of caring for one’s life as one has always yearned to be cared for.
And perhaps that is the essence of artful parenting – not as the lack of chaos, but gentleness within chaos.
Complete lifesaver in disguise.
There is no need for a life overhaul, simply for being there, for oneself, in a gentle manner. That awareness invites meaning into one’s life.
Breathe. Move. Rest. Listen. Repeat.
That is the art, and it is the kind of art that one is already creating.
To Breathe: Breathwrk App
To Move: Moodment Dance
To Sleep: Time To Sleep
To Be Still: Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction
